Corporate Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her

shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a

towel and runs downstairs.    When she opens the door, there stands

Bob, the next door neighbor.    Before she says a word, Bob says,

"I'll give you $800 to drop that towel."    After thinking for a

moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.

After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves.   The woman

wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the

bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"  "It was Bob the next door

neighbor," she replies.  "Great!" the husband says, " Did he say

anything about the $800 he owes me?"

Moral of the story:    If you share critical information pertaining to

credit and risk with your shareholders,  in time you may be in a

position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Corporate Lesson 2:

A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs,

forcing her gown to reveal a leg.  The priest nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.  The

nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"    The priest removed his hand

but, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.    The nun

once again said,  father, remember Psalm 129?"    The priest apologized

"Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."    Arriving at the convent, the

nun went on her way.   On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed

to look up Psalm 129.   It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you

will find glory."

Moral of the story:    If you are not well informed in your job, you

might miss a great opportunity.

Corporate Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to

lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.   They rub it and a Genie

comes out.

The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."  "Me first! Me

first!" says the admin. clerk ,   "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving

a speedboat, without a care in the world"  Poof!   She's gone.  "Me next!

Me next!" says the sales rep.   "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on

the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of  Pina Coladas

and the love of my life.  "Poof!  He's gone.

OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.  The manager says, "I

want those two back in the office after lunch."

Moral of the story:    Always let your boss have the first say.

Corporate Lesson 4:

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.    A rabbit asked

him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?"  The crow

answered:  "Sure, why not."   So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and

rested.    A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:    To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be

sitting very high up.

Corporate Lesson 5:

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to

the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, but I haven't got the

energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on my droppings?" replied the bull.

"They're packed with nutrients."  The turkey pecked at a lump of dung

and found that it gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch

of the tree.  The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the

second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top

of the tree.  Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out

of the tree.

Moral of the story:    Bull**** might get you to the top, but it won't

keep you there.